Through the past year so many things have changed.

The wheel has turned slowly….Samhain, Yule…, Lammas, Ostara,…….Beltane………

And every turn has been filled with much joy, but also with much pain. I have gained much, but I have also lost much. I have laughed much, but I have also cried much. I have trusted and got betrayed. I have danced in the light, but I also got lost in the dark. 

I have helped to heal a few broken hearts and got mine broken in the process. I have lived life to the fullest, but I have also died an extremely painful death. I tried so hard to be an angel, only to tumble from grace. I was a pillar for others and when I needed strength those pure souls around me were my crutches and shoulders to cry on.

I learnt to love again, had the courage to give my heart away, only to have it shattered, realizing that in the end love can also hurt. I lost my faith in the Lord and the Lady, only to find their faces in the hopeful, innocent eyes little children. When the darkness of the Underworld finally engulfed me and I begged for compassion, understanding and justice, I saw how cruel and evil human beings could actually be…. I discovered that these attributes are distant memories and myths lost in the mists of time.

When I was down on my knees, begging for mercy, I was kicked in the face….. again and again…….  Within the greatest darkness sometimes lies the brightest light. The mystery is, there is no mystery. It is sometimes just there, waiting to be noticed: Life is neither black nor white. It’s both – nature is both loving and cruel all at the same time. The Wheel is about to turn again…… The light half of my year was cast in darkness - filled with shadows. 

Litha is upon me and I am about to bid the light farewell. My heart is filled with hope, my soul wrapped in sadness. May the dark half of the year be filled with light….. The past is now in front of me. I can see it clearly and learn from my mistakes. The future is behind me. The journey ahead is not visible at the moment and I have no idea what lies ahead and where I may be heading.

Thus far the journey has not only been filled with hurt, with way too much pain, but also with a great deal of laughter and joy - all little parts of my life’s lesson  – the lesson of balance.

The oracle of Delphi said Know Thyself. It is about knowing yourself, facing your fears and taking responsibility for your actions. The only way to know yourself is to take part in the spiral dance of life. Dance through the happy times, but also dance through those sad, dark times. This is dancing the wheel. This is the magick of living. This is balance……

I am no where near the end of the journey and the spiral back to my divine self, but with the arriving of Litha and 2011 just around the corner I know that I am a little closer. 

May you have the courage to dance with the wheel this coming year.

Love,

Willow Geldenhuys

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